MISSION STATEMENT “we hope to bring a … light into … lives through the magic of smile”
Damn Tees was founded on the belief that laughter can take the edge off of our darkest woes. In an age riddled with depression and doomsday drear we hope to bring a little light into our customer's lives through the magic of smile. Unfortunately kicks and giggles are harder to come by nowadays. The majority are no longer amused by the knock knock jokes and one liners of yesteryear. Humor has numbingly digressed from the slapstick humor brought forth by your Three Stooges to the macabre humor embraced by society today. As the masses have demanded that comedy push the boundaries of our comfort zone we as a society have delved further and further into the depths of the unknown. We believe that through fashion we can take comedy and transform it into a transportable commodity. We take highly recognizable icons from our every day experiences and twist them in a way that is both memorable and entertaining. We push the boundaries of parody and give it that 3D full color illustrative touch that sets us apart from our 2D monochromatic competitors. By pushing these bounds we aim to create a paradigm shift by trendsetting a benchmark that will one day be standard for the fashion industry world wide. Here at Damn Tees we strive to bring you light hearted fully illustrative cutting edge fashions with on a regular basis at a reasonable price.
TARGET MARKET ”our products are for individuals with a sense of humor”
Even the greatest performer is nothing without an audience. Damn Tees would like to target the general populous but that would leave us printing lay mans humor that would do nothing more than insult our target market's mental capacity. We seek to service those who are not easily offended the witty few who can interpret our joke. Simply put, our products are for individuals with a sense of humor. Every design has a corresponding punch line that's good for a laugh or two if you are willing and able.....mostly able. So leave those Red Necks in the dust with their imbred momma jokes and step on to a higher plane of comedic enlightenment. Your perversions are the pathway to the gutter of your mind. Climb aboard and set your gigglebox to vibrate it's going to be one Hell of a ride.
COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE “we don't believe in replication; we believe in creation”
Here at Damn Tees we don't believe in replication; we believe in creation. By staffing artists that are top in their field we succeed in bringing past favorites to life with full color detail. We appreciate the fact that we don't have to benchmark our competition by stealing their ideas. We pride ourselves in originality. We provide our customers with unique and fashionable products in hopes that they will serve as a standard for the rest of the industry. We utilize DTG technology to assure you that our designs are transferred onto merchandise with the highest respect to quality and no loss of detail. Don't be caught in the stone age with those screen printed two color schemed tees made so popular by today’s fashion industry. Let Damn Tees be your fashionable revolution.
LETTER FROM OUR CEO “Laughter is the best medicine and I want all of you to live forever“
Greetings Defunct One ,
What started as a vision, a seedling in the corrupted mind of one Utah boy, has now spawned into the enigma t-shirt company known as DAMN TEES. Started out as a hobby for a very troubled soul in August of 2007 DAMN TEES has become the outlet for all of the perversions plagued by this Adults Only mindscape. But let's be honest what good is pure evil without a little bit of sprinkling of the goodness here and there. What you will find within these walls will make your stomach churn in unnerving vomitous ways one moment and then give you butterflies the next . Our humor spans all levels of perversion from the most innocent of nuns to the guiltiest of serial murderers. So sit back and enjoy the tug job that is about to take place within the loins of your heart .
Damn Tees is a specialty store that offers a wide array of highly artsy t-shirt designs that range from parody humor to the all out bizarre. We strive to provide the highest quality of designs that can't be found anywhere but this store minus the few knockoffs we may get from time to time. All of the designs found within are love children of the CEO himself but that doesn't mean if you have some million dollar design just itching away at you not to share. You will be heartily rewarded for your corruption if it does make it within these padded walls. So don't be shy; it hasn't gotten you anywhere but home alone with a jar of vaseline and kleenex anyways, toss your design this way. We have a small army of graphic artists just waiting to make your twisted fantasy into a t-shirt design reality.
As an educated man with a philosophical business sense I understand the need to follow the ways of the Chinamen and constantly improve upon myself. Any suggestions and feedback will be gladly welcomed with open legs and an open heart . Running a business is all about YOU the customer. I would hate to Helen Keller myself into bankruptcy because I could neither listen to your suggestions nor see Damn Tees reaches its highest potential. As tit for tat goes my subservience to you isn't offered without me making this simple plea. Infect the world with my corruption, buy a shirt and spread it to the world. Laughter is the best medicine and I want all of you to live forever.
Remember do unto others as they would do unto you. I would buy something from you if I could.
If you've got any suggestions, questions, or comments about our products or our site, shoot us a quick email at email@example.com
Thank you for your interest in Damn Tees.
We hope you enjoy your stay and find something you like.
xoxoxo *dry hump* xo,